There are a lot of young men who find it difficult to go out and meet new girls on days when they have a quarell with their parents.
There are also a lot of older men who can go out easily and have success. Why is that so?
The behaviour taught from father to son carries in a son's mind his whole life. Many of our ideas and beliefs our parents put into us are essential for life. For example our parents teach us how to cross the street or they taught us how to read. Without good parental guidance we would not survive as children, they wish us best all the time.
But unconciously they may install a big feeling of inadequacy in a joung boys mind that will give him problems all his life.
Have you ever had your mother tell you:"Your shirt is soo dirty!, you cannot go out like that!?"
After a million such remarks you will feel accustomed to feeling bad about yourself if you don't have a clean,nice shirt. No joking!
It may sound funny but think about it, it happens to all of us. Those kind of remarks seem totally unimportant now that you are living far away from your parents, thousands of miles away and you see them only during hollidays.
But when you are not wearing your best clothes and you meet a girl you feel attracted to, the internal program put into your mind by your family when you were still a little child and coudn't resist your parents advice will start working, it will start working soo much that you will feel bad about yourself and you will not be able to do your best and get the girl attracted to you.
So it may happen that even though you are much older, your mothers remarks are having an impact now on your confidence.
Do a little experiment to see are you under influnece of what I call society programing.
Remember how your parents always taught you that you have to pay attention when eating biscuits so pieces don't end up on the floor. I want you to take a few bisciuts in your hands and sit on your couch, then I want you to start twisting them slightly in your palms so little peaces start falling to the floor. Are you feeling pressure in your head? Are you feeling uncomfortable?
Maybe still no.
When you are in a company of other people I want you to do the samething.
Are you feeling huge pressure build up "in the air".
That means you are now under influnence of manners that were put in your mind when you were young.
Can you see how strong influnece they have on you when you just do a silly task of basically doing absolutely nothing important?
On that simple example it is easy to illustrate how we are controlled by forces that we can not influence.
Imagine you've just met a girl you fancy and you are dressed in old and worn out clothes, but in your packet you have the most modern cell phone that looks like it just came from an epizode of StarWars. Adds are that you will take it out to show her that you have some expensive material possesion, to impress her. Actually it will be really hard to resist the drive to take your cell phone out, or your new Italian sunglasses to impress the woman.
I have discovered that over whelming majority of men stay in that pattern their whole life, always looking for something else that will impress the women more but never actually making a move on her and approaching her and finally not being a coward.
The society program is so strong that it is hard to sense it when you are close to a beautiful woman so I suggest that you start small and buy some biscuits!
It may look like an insignificat step but believe me it is a small step for humankind but a huge leap for you. I am one of the founders of a company Fidentia that helps men get confidence for approaching women and on our workshops we go out and our students meet women by themselves. We've manage to develop hundreds of exercises to help you control your internal state and to make it easy and natural to talk to an unknown women as you would talk to your best friend.
One of the basic buliding blocks of our approach to teaching is that the students gets comfortable being in their own skin, that he gets comfortable being who he is and not because he has a nice body or a new watch.
That is why our students have a huge advantage over any competition. While the average man works 9 to 5 and then afterwards he sees a new woman he could approach. His mind tells him that he is out of shape and that he will get toned for summer, that means in just 6 months.
Our student works from 9 to 5 also but when he sees a dazzling woman he approaches her and she is very attracted to his unusual confidence, and now he has a girlfiend while the other guy is dreaming of buying a new car stereo.
So I advise you to start with the biscuits and to get comfortable in your own skin even if you are wearing something totally out of date.
Then when you go out on Saturday night and drees your best you will know that your looks and possesion are just your secondary means, but for other guys they are the only thing they have. You can email us and tell us how your mission is going.
© Copyright 2005. Ranko Magami Ranko Magami is a date doctor for Fidentia a company that teaches men dating confidence in live workshops. See this website for more info http://www.attractanddate.com
Imagine the joy of finding the love of your life,... Read More
Okay, so you wanted to know what your boyfriend or... Read More
So you have scored the date, she has agreed to... Read More
1. When with a woman on a date, under no... Read More
Your dating site profile is the most important tool you... Read More
A few weeks ago I was having lunch with a... Read More
If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating... Read More
Each and every woman is an actress in their own... Read More
1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it... Read More
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what... Read More
Meet Other Singles by Doing Something You LoveHere's one the... Read More
However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous... Read More
Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its... Read More
I call it "The Funnel." And it's the best way... Read More
Years ago, online dating had a reputation that was less... Read More
Online dating is a great way to contact and meet... Read More
Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is... Read More
No one would know how good you are if you... Read More
A Christian dating service can help single Christians meet one... Read More
Why is it some people look at dating as a... Read More
You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a... Read More
Just when businesses and advertisers think they have women all... Read More
You are on your way to your first date with... Read More
In part one, we looked at the importance of remaining... Read More
We know one of the hardest part of creating your... Read More
Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not... Read More
Overwhelmed with family, school, work and volunteer obligations, woman are... Read More
Familiar with the economics theory of scarcity ? Here's a... Read More
Did you know that Online Dating is the top moneymaker... Read More
The tempertures are rising and romances are in full bloom... Read More
If you're single, you've probably gone to a singles bar... Read More
You are on your way to your first date with... Read More
There is one thing we all know for certain when... Read More
What Does `Inner Game` Mean?`Inner Game` is what we call... Read More
Most of us walk around caught up in our own... Read More
The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually... Read More
Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your... Read More
How often do you find yourself wishing you could find... Read More
In any group of girls, there's usually one who's getting... Read More
Dating can be scary no matter how or where you... Read More
Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, as people... Read More
Have you seen a dating site? Would you want to... Read More
SpeedTry to picture what used to happen earlier in the... Read More
Let's face it...some women can be ruthless. There are certain... Read More
There's something sexy about a powerful, take-charge woman who knows... Read More
Just recently, I felt ready to experience change in a... Read More
There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if... Read More
These are words women don't want to hear when they're... Read More
Conversation starters can literally save your life on a first... Read More
So the big night is quickly approaching, your first big... Read More
One of the great things about online dating is the... Read More
We've all been there. You have been meeting her accidentally... Read More
Sometimes we need a hiatus from dating. A "hiatus" is... Read More
Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes.... Read More
Many of my clients that I coach are single and... Read More
If you are knee deep in trying to find a... Read More
You get her number, set up the date, take her... Read More
For some, the idea of dating again can be intimidating... Read More
Are you considering the possibility of using an Online Dating... Read More
Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking... Read More
There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover... Read More
Are you a little uncomfortable with the idea of Internet... Read More
IntroductionNothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation... Read More
I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught... Read More
Do you know everything about Russian women that could help... Read More
Sweet flowers alone can say what passion fears revealing Thomas... Read More
Dating |