Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date of our dreams, or possibly being in a bad relationship. I've compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating experience.
#1 - Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn-off. And you may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.
An other game people play is the "manipulation" game. Doing things like telling someone you "love them" or you'll "call them" just to have them sleep with you. Then once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must be considered unacceptable in the dating world.
Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with the date of your dreams.
#2 - Moving to Fast:
Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven't even gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it's time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here's why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship we are running on euphoria. You know that "head over heels" or that "swept off your feet" kind of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there's an actual reason why this occurres. It's from a chemical in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think clearly. So, until you've had time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he is really like, it's best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!
#3 - Are you always talking about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure we've all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.
Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before you start up a new relationship. This way you won't allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.
#4 - Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more. Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn't show up and has no reasonable explanation as to why. - Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone number. - He/she will not introduce you to family or friends. - He/she won't go out in public with you.- Being cruel to a pet. - Being disrespectful to a parent. Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.
While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong. If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.
#5 - Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don't let it ruin your relationship with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get going. You'll worry over what he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You'll worry over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether the relationship is working at all. And, what will your friends think, your family think and so on. You need to understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace which is perfect for the both of you.
#6 - The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone's life, and try to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can't, not on the first or even the second date. If you come off as "The Interrogator" your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple conversation. Soon you'll know all there is to know about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you new date.
#7 - What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don't you will spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not agree on meeting each other's needs, (what ever they maybe) then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any relationship whether it be personal or business the needs of all parties involved must be met.
#8 - Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a "doormat"? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to prove it.
Good Luck!
Marie Clare.
Marie Clare specializes in writing about Dating, Relationships and Romance. Check out her lastest Best Selling eBook "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" plus reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites, FREE Articles, Tips and Advice at http://www.lifematesnow.com
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
|
![]() |
Why is it when it comes to dating that we... Read More
So the big night is quickly approaching, your first big... Read More
When most "dating gurus" and sex therapists spout their dating... Read More
We've all been there. We've fallen in love with somebody... Read More
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had... Read More
1) Leave the mobile phone off! Do not answer it... Read More
You have signed up on several large dating sites and... Read More
So, you have decided to do it. Get out there... Read More
There are a lot of young men who find it... Read More
Close your eyes and imagine this romantic setting: an intimate... Read More
Most pick-up lines don't work because they are trite, cheesy,... Read More
Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not... Read More
Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has... Read More
Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So... Read More
How many times have you heard someone say it was... Read More
Inevitably, when the topic of dating comes up among Christian... Read More
We would like to take a few minutes of your... Read More
Recently a man I had met through match.com sent me... Read More
It is often said that sales is a numbers game.... Read More
Flattery will get you everywhere! Always compliment women and they... Read More
You should show a tolerant and open-minded attitude towards many... Read More
Today there are many single women over the age of... Read More
Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have... Read More
Let me mention a few names and you can tell... Read More
In this day and age, many find it hard to... Read More
Internet dating services are popping up online like dandelions in... Read More
If you're about to leap into dating personals and don't... Read More
Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days.... Read More
SpeedTry to picture what used to happen earlier in the... Read More
Introduction We live in a society that places high value... Read More
More American women over 45 are single, than ever before.... Read More
How Your Dating Life Could Affect Your MarriageIf you've ever... Read More
Watch Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or any other man with... Read More
It is often said that sales is a numbers game.... Read More
The number one mistake made by men on the first... Read More
"I'll call you this week". "Yes, I'd love to see... Read More
Today there are many single women over the age of... Read More
What is it about the attraction of Bad Boys?A lot... Read More
Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one... Read More
You see her across the room. Ah, so attractive. But... Read More
There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are... Read More
In order for a typical woman to have sex with... Read More
"When you truly look for me, You will find me."... Read More
Most of us have different levels of confidence. I'm sure... Read More
When most "dating gurus" and sex therapists spout their dating... Read More
So, you're a member of every suitable on-line dating site,... Read More
Over the past few years, I discovered a few personality... Read More
Very few singles have ever gone through life without having... Read More
Has this ever happened to you? You're at a bar... Read More
Over the past several years online dating has become very... Read More
You will get to a certain age where, no matter... Read More
The rate of new love and marriages is rising as... Read More
When it comes to flirting, you can get your point... Read More
I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught... Read More
SpeedTry to picture what used to happen earlier in the... Read More
Six months ago an old school friend and I were... Read More
No one would know how good you are if you... Read More
Step aside Hugh Hefner. Elvis King is back in the... Read More
Giving a compliment can be a very powerful tool when... Read More
The fact is, most people think they handle objections with... Read More
Hello Lucia,I regularly compliment women and tell them that I... Read More
The three most usual choices for what to do on... Read More
Jody's quest in finding a suitable partner for marriage seemed... Read More
Guys have all different motives for trying to be successful... Read More
First impressions are important, which is why it is essential... Read More
We've all been there. We've fallen in love with somebody... Read More
Dating |