Dating Mistakes

Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date of our dreams, or possibly being in a bad relationship. I've compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating experience.

Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn-off. And you may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.

An other game people play is the "manipulation" game. Doing things like telling someone you "love them" or you'll "call them" just to have them sleep with you. Then once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must be considered unacceptable in the dating world.

Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with the date of your dreams.

Moving to Fast:
Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven't even gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it's time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here's why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship we are running on euphoria. You know that "head over heels" or that "swept off your feet" kind of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there's an actual reason why this occurres. It's from a chemical in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think clearly. So, until you've had time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he is really like, it's best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!

Are you always talking about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure we've all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.

Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before you start up a new relationship. This way you won't allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.

Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more. Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn't show up and has no reasonable explanation as to why. - Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone number. - He/she will not introduce you to family or friends. - He/she won't go out in public with you.- Being cruel to a pet. - Being disrespectful to a parent. Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.

While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong. If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don't let it ruin your relationship with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get going. You'll worry over what he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You'll worry over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether the relationship is working at all. And, what will your friends think, your family think and so on. You need to understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace which is perfect for the both of you.

The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone's life, and try to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can't, not on the first or even the second date. If you come off as "The Interrogator" your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple conversation. Soon you'll know all there is to know about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you new date.

What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don't you will spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not agree on meeting each other's needs, (what ever they maybe) then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any relationship whether it be personal or business the needs of all parties involved must be met.

Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a "doormat"? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to prove it.

Best of Luck
Marie Clare

Marie Clare specializes in writing about Dating, Relationships and Romance. Check out her lastest Best Selling eBook "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" plus reviews of the Best Online Dating Sites, FREE Articles, Tips, and Advice at http://www.lifematesnow.com

---

Adult Dating: Friend or Foe - Your Sex Life and the Internet!

There was a time when finding a date, partner, lover... Read More

How to Create A Romantic Dinner for Two on a Pontoon Boat

Before you pick up the phone to make reservations for... Read More

Online Dating - 5 Essential Safety Tips

So, you've decided to take the plunge and follow in... Read More

Cut Cupid Some Slack

Valentine's Day!What a great idea to set aside a day... Read More

Online Dating - Needle in a Haystack?

No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique... Read More

Got a Blind Date Right Around the Corner?

Got a case of the blind date? Oh yes we... Read More

Christian Singles: Questions To Keep Your Spirit Alive

With special events like Valentine's Day coming and going each... Read More

Dating Personals! Find Out How To Write A Knockout Personal Ad

If you're about to leap into dating personals and don't... Read More

Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters

Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured... Read More

Looking To Join A Dating Site?

Searching the web for a dating or personals site can... Read More

Are You Making These Body Language Mistakes With Your Hands?

Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one... Read More

Dating Rules - Show Tolerance, be Easy

You should show a tolerant and open-minded attitude towards many... Read More

Building Self Confidence

The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires... Read More

The Deal Breakers

Deal Breakers. Everyone's got them. You know: the instant turn-offs... Read More

Married and Unhappy ...

Married women need to feel Love and Married men need... Read More

90% of Your Dating Issues Solved!

A friend of mine recently exclaimed, "Dating is so complicated!"... Read More

Oops, I Did It Again

Oops! I did it again!So you are licking your wounds.... Read More

Are You Dating a Potential Cheater?

Most single woman seeking a committed relationship would rather avoid... Read More

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes.... Read More

He Was Either The Most Romantic Man In The World - Or A Complete Idiot

Heather had been dating Ben for a little over two... Read More

You Might Be A Stalker If....

Okay, so you wanted to know what your boyfriend or... Read More

Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths

If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which... Read More

Online Dating Tips ? Creating Personal Ads

Creating a personal ad for online dating services is not... Read More

The Language and Meaning of Flowers

Sweet flowers alone can say what passion fears revealing Thomas... Read More

Funnel Your Way to Love

I call it "The Funnel." And it's the best way... Read More

No More Desperation Dating

When you think about what you find attractive in a... Read More

1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women

Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to... Read More

I Found Love On a Online Dating Site

Over the past few years, I discovered a few personality... Read More

Help! Im Single for the First Time in Years!

You're back on the dating scene. But you're worried as... Read More

Four Dating Rules You Must Know To Transform Your Love Life

Dating is the first step to love. I am going... Read More

Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date

Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression... Read More

How To Make A Lasting Impression

How many times have you felt the urge to impress... Read More

Basic SMS Tips for Picking Up the Women of Your Dreams

I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught... Read More