Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce is a much debated topic due to the psychological and emotional impact it can have on people. Dating after divorce can be complex, too often divorcees don't consider the ramifications of dating after divorce before they jump into it with both feet!

If you're going to start dating again after you've gotten a divorce, there's quite few things that you should consider beforehand...here's a partial list you might want to think about:

Dating after divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are aware of your own level of self-confidence.

If are considering dating after divorce, be certain that you are either confident in yourself as a person or are at least aware of your level of self-confidence so you can plan accordingly. Self-confidence will help you to remain lucid when you're dating after divorce. Choosing who to date and why you want to date them can be a major turning point in your emotional health after a divorce. If you're self-confident, chances are good that you'll be able to handle being rejected or ignored if you're just beginning a relationship.

If you're truly self-confident, you'll be able to have the right mind set before you begin dating after divorce and any potential let down will be foreseen by you and "non-damaging" to your emotional state. Self confidence is perhaps the most important thing to think about from an emotional health perspective regarding dating after divorce.

Dating after divorce consideration 2: How quickly should you date after getting a divorce?

Fortunately, this is really only a question that you can answer, assuming your divorce is truly over with and you don't have a custody battle that's ongoing, a dispute about assets or finances, or any other type of lingering agreement that needs to be reached that could be impaired by dating. If you have children, this is a question of their strength and the strength of your relationship with them.

If you don't have children, this decision is entirely up to you regarding how you'll approach dating after divorce. Ask yourself how ready you really are to date again...depending on what you want out of dating after divorce, i.e., what the end result is to any solid dating relationship, will drive how quickly you date again. If you're simply lonely and think you need to date again just for the sake of dating or to test how you'll respond to dating, you may want to do a serious self evaluation regarding your confidence level. You will know when you're ready again to begin dating after divorce - everyone's different. Know yourself first, then make the decision.

Dating after divorce consideration 3: Should I date while going through a divorce?

Most coaches, attorneys, and counselors will tell you that dating while going through a divorce is never a good thing to do from a psychological perspective and a legal perspective. While this article isn't a form of legal advice, common sense tells you that if you're in any type of battle regarding marital assets or custody, avoid any dating.

From an emotional health perspective, dating while going through a divorce can be damaging to you and your "soon to be" ex-spouse. You'll be much more mature after the divorce if you self evaluate to figure out how you contributed to the events that lead to your divorce. Handling yourself in a caring and sturdy emotional manner during a divorce can be an extremely difficult thing to do...but, it is a terrific growing and learning process. Make use of it! Grow as a person and learn about yourself, and you'll be far better off after the divorce is final.

Dating after divorce consideration 4: Consider that you may have a tendency to date someone completely opposite from your spouse and realize that this isn't healthy.

Dating after divorce is tricky! Be smart, realize that the pain you may have felt at the hands of your spouse can naturally lead you to want to date someone who is an opposite of your ex. It is a reasonable and natural reaction because you might want to avoid having any pain whatsoever or you may not want to deal with anyone who might remind you of your ex-spouse.

If you find yourself looking for someone who is your ex's opposite when dating after divorce, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this tactic is truly healthy for you. If you answer 'yes', then you're saying that there was nothing good about your spouse and that you're a poor decision maker or else you would have never gotten married to your ex in the first place!

Instead, think of the things you'd like to see in someone that would make you want to date them and look at the person in and of themselves only. If you see something in them that reminds you of your ex-spouse, decide whether that something is a good trait or an undesirable trait. Only then can you decide about that person in positive fashion. Your spouse has or had some good traits, define what they are and don't be afraid to see those traits in someone that you are dating after divorce.

Dating after divorce consideration 5: Do what you need to in order to have a positive outlook on your future after your divorce.

When thinking about dating after divorce, and all the possible fires that can go with it, keep in mind that you need to feel good about yourself to be lucid. A positive outlook on life is key to everything else, and all the future decisions that you will make after your divorce. Go and do fun things with friends and get out! You should certainly keep your guard up but don't be overly critical of everything or you may get so paralyzed be your analysis that you never actually "get in the game." Your frame of mind on any relationship - friend or not - after divorce is key factor to your happiness. Keeping a clear head and heart is a healthy thing. If you keep these considerations in mind, you'll have a much better time when dating after divorce.

© Karl Augustine, 2005

"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

Deciding on Divorce

Dating After Divorce

---

Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Dos and Donts

Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes.... Read More

e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?

I logged on to a dating site the other day... Read More

Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part Two)

In part one, we looked at the importance of remaining... Read More

Have You Tried Online Dating, Only to be Disappointed?

Millions of people subscribe to Online dating services, but very... Read More

Dating Tips: Creating The Perfect Atmosphere

Had you ever been in the situation where your heart... Read More

How to Get a Date

Step #1- The first impression. Before you approach a girl... Read More

Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of Romance

We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these... Read More

Dating Tips for Matchmaking and Friend Finder Sites

Three years ago, I met my boyfriend Andy through the... Read More

Quality Adult Personals

Quality adult personals are becoming harder to find these days.... Read More

Does the Free Basic Membership Find You A Date?

When it comes to online dating many people think that... Read More

Six Things Every Christian Single Should Know Before Dating Online (Part One)

Years ago, online dating had a reputation that was less... Read More

Online Dating - Six Ways to Protect Your Privacy in Cyberspace

Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, as people... Read More

Long Distance Dating: Romantic or Frantic?

It sounds like something out of a fairy tale. She's... Read More

Why Attractive Women Meet Me Online..

Why attractive women meet men online.It's a common question that... Read More

Let Women Talk and Help

Women love to talk (just think of how long they... Read More

Reading People: Body Language Briefing

Body language is the meaning behind the words or the... Read More

The Traditional Jewish Dating

In as much as they want to preserve the moral... Read More

Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker

Don't make these mistakes when searching for love online!"I spent... Read More

Inexpensive Dating Ideas

Dating and saving money. For many, the two concepts don't... Read More

First Date ? Tips for Women

You are on your way to your first date with... Read More

Internet Dating - Introduction

So you're single. And you don't want to be single... Read More

How To Land The Catch Of Your Life Without Becoming Sharkbait

However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous... Read More

1 Step You Should Take to Alleviate Anxiety When Meeting Women

Has a similar scenario like this one ever happened to... Read More

If You Really Need A Dating Quiz, Maybe You Shouldnt Be Dating

Q. My boyfriend failed a dating quiz. Should I dump... Read More

Three Keys to Wonderful Dating Experience

Forget the flowers and the scent. To improve your chances... Read More

Online Dating Service! Is Matchmaking On The Internet Right For You?

Online dating service! Is it right for you? That would... Read More

No More Desperation Dating

When you think about what you find attractive in a... Read More

Basic SMS Tips for Picking Up the Women of Your Dreams

I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught... Read More

What are Seduction Lairs?

Are you familiar with Seduction Lairs and how to use... Read More

Black Professional, Educated, And Self-Reliant Woman - Why Am I Still Single?

Today there are many single women over the age of... Read More

How to Be a Great First Date

Okay, you've scored a date with a sexy somebody for... Read More

Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed

Chances are that you have had a wide variety of... Read More

Dating Sites Are Bringing Millions Of Singles Together For Quality Online Relationships

It's amazing how dating sites are helping over a million... Read More