No More Desperation Dating

When you think about what you find attractive in a person, what comes to mind? Tall, dark and handsome? Blonde and curvaceous?

How about happy and fulfilled with an exciting life?

I don't know about you, but I would pick the happy, exciting life every time. While physical chemistry is important, I know quite a number of people who would not win a beauty pageant, but are so filled with life and energy that they draw the attention of everyone when they enter a room. They may not be the easiest on the eye, but they certainly are the ones I want to talk to and spend time with.

***Looking Ahead***

As we get ready for the search for our future partners, an easy aspect to overlook is our attitude towards our own lives. Each time I have found myself single, adjusting myself to the possible reality that I might be that way the rest of my life has seemed imperative. A part of that adjustment has always included building a happy and interesting life for myself.

How you feel about your life now as a single person and the possibility that you might stay single, affects what you portray to others. If you hate your life, think that being married or partnered is the only valued way to live, and look towards a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak, believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.

As well, that sort of mind set leads to desperation and neediness, which will really cloud your judgment when it comes to sorting through mate possibilities. How will you be able to freely decide if someone is right for you if you feel impelled to launch yourself towards the first person who shows a bit of interest?

Staying centered and clear-headed is going to be vital to your future, and feeling miserable about your current life and prospects will really cloud your judgment.

***Three Action Steps***

1. Start thinking about improving your life as a single and your attitude towards it right now. What are you proud of, and what do you need to improve upon, to feel better about your life and the future?

2. If you knew, right now, that you were going to spend the rest of your life as a single, what would you need to do so that you would have as interesting and vital a life by yourself as you imagine life with a partner would be?

3. While important to place priority on finding a mate, how can you move it to the side, and make your own life and its vitalness central?

Though sounding contradictory, happiness with your life as it is now, and at the same time, making yourself ready to change it by finding a mate, actually provides needed balance. Your satisfaction with what you have will be exciting and attractive to others. You will not come across as needy, a real turn off.

***Want or Need?***

Want and need are two very different things. *Want* implies desire, but something that you could do without. *Need* has a desperate edge. Because you are looking, you will be signaling that you *want* a relationship and are willing to make space and change for that in your already full life. But you don't *need* another to make yourself complete.

One of the best ingredients for a successful relationship are two people who know how to satisfy their own needs. They are happy by themselves and not *needing* a relationship.

Wanting, yes.

Needing, no.

Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!

eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"

Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart

Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*

Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html

www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com

4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030

---

COMING SOON??Online Attractions

In my attempts to find the love of my life,... Read More

Online Dating - Top Tips for Success!

A few months ago I became single again after a... Read More

Mike?s Dating Story

(Black Couch Tales)Mike was completely stressed when he walked into... Read More

Why Date Someone You Wouldnt Have As Your Friend?

Sometimes in dating we so often settle for people that... Read More

Online Dating Safety

Online dating safety warning signs.Online dating is a brilliant and... Read More

The Dating Game

With all the websites on the Internet that offer a... Read More

How to Carry Yourself With the Body Language of an Alpha Male

Watch Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or any other man with... Read More

Hot Women And Eye Contact

For a while now I've been wondering why some women... Read More

From Friend To Boyfriend

One of the most frequent questions I am asked is... Read More

How To Make A Lasting Impression

How many times have you felt the urge to impress... Read More

Change Your Body Language to Be Relaxed When Approaching Somebody New

Get a Girl To Seduce You By Changing Your Body... Read More

Got Attitude?

Probably you do have attitude, but what is it? Jaded,... Read More

The Freedom to Exist

This article will seem like just good old plain common... Read More

Meeting Other Singles By Doing Something You Love

Meet Other Singles by Doing Something You LoveHere's one the... Read More

Relationship Room

Just recently, I felt ready to experience change in a... Read More

Dating On-line in Safety

Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So... Read More

When Should You Give Up on Chasing a Woman?

This week I want to discuss chasing women, or rather... Read More

Dating Tips: How to Get Yourself A Date

Well, if you didn't give that someone a bad impression... Read More

Dating a Non Christian

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what... Read More

Best Places to go on a Date

Does the waiter know how you like your steak, and... Read More

How To Choose a Dating Service

There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if... Read More

Are Parents Still Stopping You from Having a Girlfriend?

There are a lot of young men who find it... Read More

Online Dating: 4 Dating Mistakes You Must Avoid

Did you catch the dating mistakes made during episode one... Read More

Meeting Women: Surefire Spots To Get Dates

The first thing I want to do immediately is to... Read More

Four Dating Rules You Must Know To Transform Your Love Life

Dating is the first step to love. I am going... Read More

Are You Making These Body Language Mistakes With Your Hands?

Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one... Read More

She Rejected You: Some Reasons Why It Happened & What You Can Do?

There is just something that makes women NOT get attracted... Read More

How Did Online Dating Become So Popular?

SpeedTry to picture what used to happen earlier in the... Read More

If You Really Need A Dating Quiz, Maybe You Shouldnt Be Dating

Q. My boyfriend failed a dating quiz. Should I dump... Read More

5 Mistakes Men Make On The First Date

The number one mistake made by men on the first... Read More

Why Date Online?

More and more people in the UK are turning to... Read More

Dos and Donts for Men on Dating Sites

Men, learn how to behave on dating and personals sites.Being... Read More

Dating Personals! Incredibly Successful, But How Does It Work?

Dating personals offer online dating singles a quick and easy... Read More